in-engine cutscenes

Before I undertook this endeavor to make a blog, I considered many different hobbies and undertakings, including:

Dog
Dogs are great. You can take them for a walk, throw things at them, or use them to ring in the new year. They smell bad when they get wet but the look of joy on their faces makes up for it. Ultimately I didn't want to have to decide whether to get it stuffed when the dog died, so I said to hell with it.

Log
Here is a picture of the log I was considering adopting. His name is Timmy and has you can see, he needs help very badly. There are hundreds of needy logs just like Timmy all over the world that will turn into dirt if we don't step in. However, when I met Timmy I accidentally stepped on him and broke off his face, so I said to hell with it.

Pogs
I already have a large pog collection in my closet at home, including some pretty good slammers and a custom pog-making machine that automatically cuts a circle out of any picture and glues it to a blank pog. While they were quite fun to collect when I was 12, they are no longer popular and the actual game they are used to play is both boring and depressing. Therefore I opted against taking up pogs again.

Rubber Stamps
Rubber stamps??? Boring.

sphincter don't fail me now

ah the proverbial first post. i shall now take this time to enlighten you with my musings about this peculiar social phenomenon that is the blog. the world currently has a curious fascination with blogs for some reason. particularly people on cnn and msnbc love to talk about blogs, even though none of them post or read blogs. but it seems about every week they have some sort of blogging expert on to discuss what the buzz on the blogs is. 'ooh whats going on in the blogosphere???' who gives a damn? apparently there are people who spend 12 hours a day reading blogs. get a life. or read a book, it's more interesting.

there's been alot of talk about blogs in the past year or so, but they're not new, just the word is new. i had a livejournal in 2001, and i had my own website that i posted to regularly in 1998. and i certainly wasn't an early adopter in that field. so what's the big deal with blogs? the answer is obvious: people are idiots.

you are now five minutes older and significantly less intelligent than you were when you started reading this pretentious drivel. congratulations. you will be receiving a gift basket and a kick in the head in 6-8 weeks. i assure you that if my short attention span doesn't make me lose interest in this blog in 2 weeks (which it certainly will) and i keep posting, this entry will be the most coherent that i submit.