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lollapalooza 2009 musings

Lollapalooza is over, and the countdown is reset to 12 months til I see the sun again. This year, the festival that gives meaning to my otherwise dreary existence, and marks the only time of the year I get a mild tan, did not disappoint. There were a number of acts I was very excited about, and as usual, lots of new music for me to discover (and for you too. don't be stubborn!).

I decided to go a little earlier than I usually do on Friday, and got inside around 11:30am, right as it started drizzling. As has become my custom, I bought a t-shirt first thing so I don't have to worry about my size selling out or anything. I opted for the space invaders design. I guess it was a good choice, because everyone kept asking me where I'd got it. I was glad I went early, because the first band I saw was Other Lives on the Citi stage, and they were excellent. Great way to start the weekend. I hope their instruments weren't damaged as they were being rained on (isn't that roof supposed to prevent that?).

Then I headed north, caught the end of Manchester Orchestra, and went over to see Zap Mama. I had spent alot of time on the lolla website, listening to music to figure out which bands I should see of the ones I wasn't familiar with, and Zap Mama was one that caught my attention. Their set didn't blow me away, but it was good. Then I got some food and listened to White Lies, and half of Bon Iver's set, before heading back south.

The Virgins didn't sound so hot, so I kept walking to STS9. They were pretty great, but I had to leave early to get a good spot for Fleet Foxes. By the time they started, it was raining pretty good, and alot of people had umbrellas, which is so rude! But most of them went down when the music started (partially spurred by some anti-umbrella chanting that I'm sad to say I didn't instigate). Fleet Foxes were amazing. I worry about being to able to hear quiet music like that at lolla, what with all the stages. In fact, Iron & Wine on the same stage in 2006 was barely audible over the sound of the techno stage in the distance. But Fleet Foxes sounded great.

After that, I crossed back again for Thievery Corporation. Then Peter Bjorn and John, who sort of sucked, and Of Montreal, who did their cover of Bowie's Moonage Daydream. Somewhere in there, it stopped raining. And finally, I opted for Depeche Mode because they're legendary, and though I like Kings of Leon, I did see them at lolla 2 years ago. Plus, their last two albums sort of sucked, and I didn't feel like hanging out with all the losers who only got into KoL since SXSW. Depeche Mode was good, but 2 hours is a long set! The visual portion was pretty good, with a bright video screen taking up the entire back of the stage. I didn't recognize much beyond their 3 big singles. I never realized Personal Jesus was a blues song! The train ride home sucked because my iPod wasn't working.
note: Between when my train arrived downtown in the morning, and when I got back to the station after the show, I didn't sit down, because it was wet and muddy everywhere. Over 11 hours standing.

Saturday and Sunday the train schedule made it impractical to go as early, which is good because I would have been exhausted. First thing Saturday, I went to Delta Spirit. I seen them open for someone at Metro, so I knew they're good. I love that guy's scream, kinda like Kings of Leon, but a lot less whiny. The sun was out and the ground already seemed pretty dry again. Next was Federico Aubele, another one that caught my attention on the website. He's from Argentina. Again, it didn't blow me away, but he's very good.

Then I went south for Ida Maria. She was really awesome. Love her scream too. I think she holds it back on the record; live, she really lets loose. It was great. Then, went over to see Atmosphere, who I kind of like, but wasn't that great. I think his attempts at humor between songs were angering me for some reason. Next was Chairlift, who was very good indeed. I think their songs are probably better suited for the big outdoor stage than Schuba's, where I first saw them.

Next I made the trek back north for Arctic Monkeys, who I was excited about. But for some reason, the live set didn't thrill me. They didn't play nearly enough from the first album. I hate a band that doesn't know what their best material is (I'm looking at you, Third Eye Blind). I think this was a scheduling mistake, since everyone seemed to be going to Arctic Monkeys. And after they finished, I got some food and went back in to sit on the grass, and you couldn't even move at the bottleneck because so many people were trying to get out. Arctic Monkeys probably should have been on later, and on the bigger stage.

Then I hung out for Santigold. I always thought she was sort of an M.I.A. ripoff, but she does have talent, and her set was really good. People were dancing on top of the structure behind the sound booth.. Back south again, since I've already seen TVOTR twice, and I'm getting sick of them. They're a little overrated. Chilled on the grass near Lykke Li, who sounded alright. Then went down by Animal Collective. Hung out for a bit, but after a while I couldn't stand the sounds coming from the stage. God they suck! So I went over by the main stage to wait for Tool.

Tool was very good, but it would have been nice to see the band on those nice huge expensive TV screens. All they showed for the whole thing was basically music videos, all conceptual stuff and creepy claymation like the Sober video (wasn't too surprised that they didn't play said song). It's a big field; you can't see the band at all unless you got there hours ahead of time. Radiohead last year had the same problem. The screens are huge, but Radiohead broke them up into 6 squares, each showing a different image, so you couldn't see anything because the videos were as tiny as the band.

Sunday proved to be the best day, and the sunniest (hence the name). I started with Alberta Cross, got there just as they finished. So, maybe they're good, I couldn't tell ya. Then went over to the tiny BMI stage (lots of shade) for Esser. He's pretty good I guess. Then south to bake in the sun and listen to Ra Ra Riot. They sounded really good. Next, checked out Bat for Lashes for a minute. She sounded good, but I wasn't in the mood for the subtle textures, so I went back to BMI to check out the Greencards. Last year I discovered an amazing bluegrass group called the Steeldrivers. I tried to find other bands like them, but most bluegrass is shit, usually because of a singer with that annoying country twang that makes me want to retch. So the Greencards are the only other good bluegrass band I've found (besides one called Muleskinner that was only around in the '70s), and they kicked ass. Ironically, most of them aren't even American. Their records seem to be more vocal-based, but for the live show, they were more of a jam band, with some kick-ass fiddle and mandolin solos.

Next, Kaiser Chiefs, who totally rocked. Great at getting the crowd into it, encouraging clapping and singing along (or shouting). I like their records, but I didn't know they'd be this good! Then I went back south and chilled on the grass by Gang Gang Dance, who sounded pretty good. Then my most anticipated group, Vampire Weekend. This was probably the sunniest, hottest hour of the weekend (thank god for those couple clouds), but well worth the cooked flesh. The band sounded great. Since they just have the one album and it's like 40 minutes long, they had time for most of those songs, plus some new ones, which actually sounded quite good.

After that, went to check out Passion Pit, who were good. They played their excellent single The Reeling last, and just then a cool breeze came in off the lake and made everything alright. Then Snoop. Snoop's the man, and the crowd was into it, which was cool. But rap acts are never that great live. The mix is always shit.

After that, I still hadn't decided whether to go to Jane's Addiction or the Killers. I decided I'd rather see Band of Horses than Silversun Pickups, so I went to them and Jane's. Lou Reed went like 20 minutes long, so I caught the end of that. The man's a legend, but that doesn't mean he's going to be any good live. Go listen to a Velvet Underground album. Band of Horses was good, very mellow and spacey. And Jane's was good. I was never their biggest fan, but they're still good.

I started going to Lollapalooza in 2006, and so far there hasn't been a bad year. Pouring rain or ridiculously hot, I don't give a shit, I'll be there. I used to get depressed that I was missing Coachella, but who wants to sleep in a tent??? Every year, 130 of my favorite bands come to my city to play on the same weekend. I love Chicago!.. After JA's set, Perry said something about bringing the olympics to Chicago (and the main stage was called "Chicago 2016"), but today I read that if that happens, there won't be a Lollapalooza that year. Just say NO to the olympics!!!

rock band guitar hero kick pedal mod

I'm feeling pretty good about the mod I just finished. I can finally have fun without being annoyed at the same time. I have Rock Band AND Guitar Hero World Tour, and I only play the drums. And while the guitar hero drum kit is so much better in most ways, the kick pedal is retarded and i just couldn't take it anymore. The rock band pedal is so much nicer. And while they use the same kind of plug, you can't interchange them because they work differently. The guitar hero pedal uses a piezoelectric transducer that senses vibration, just like on all the drums. And the rock band one uses a magnet that induces current in a wire coil. So, I ripped the wire out of the guitar hero pedal and attached it to a new piezo element I got on ebay for $4. Then you just have to attach the piezo to the rock band kick pedal, and it should be able to pick up the vibrations. It did take a lot of tweaking to get the sensitivity right. At first it was registering way too many hits, so I was trying all these complicated configurations with styrofoam to isolate the sensor from the body of the pedal. But I actually found the perfect configuration just putting it directly on top of the body, just a little further from where the pedal hits. And it's just on there with masking tape, nothing further needed. works perfectly, and so much more comfortable than the guitar hero pedal. plus, you can still use it for rock band since i haven't changed anything, just added a bit to the outside. I've also got the snare sensor fixed again (this time it actually detached from the back of the drum!), so I'm ready to enjoy some sweet jams over the next few days. While I was doing this, I realized both companies are idiots. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to have a simple electrical switch that closes when the pedal goes down? Every time the switch closes, that's a hit. Maybe I'm wrong.

concert update: may 12, iron & wine at lakeshore theater, solo, no band. pretty sweet. i think i like him better that way. may 23, the prodigy at congress theater. i've loved them since the Fat of the Land basically introduced me to techno like 12 years ago, and had never seen them live. the show was insane, i'm surprised nobody died. also, thousands of people shouting 'SMACK MY BITCH UP' is neat. may 28, dent may at schubas again. great again. may 30, fischerspooner at metro. wacky show lived up to the hype. love that the bg music for post-show crowdsurfing was clair de lune. june 1, menomena at empty bottle. theyre soooo good. thank god everyone is stupid, or great bands like this would play sold-out stadiums and i wouldn't get to see them up close at some bar. june 8, the crystal method at HOB, same story as prodigy RE: history. not the most amazing live show, but still glad i finally got to see them. haven't been to a show since, and nothing scheduled til lolla. weird.

lizard people

i had pretty much given up on this blog, but i decided i should update once a year in the unlikely chance that anyone ever sees it. here's a few shows i've been to in the past 13 months:
nada surf at metro. rjd2 at abbey pub. hot chip at the vic. iron & wine at the vic. ghostland observatory at metro (so awesome live). m.i.a. at aragon. m83 at empty bottle. ladytron at the vic. mike doughty at martyrs', great intimate show.
lollapalooza 2008: highlights: ting tings, NIN, rage against the machine, chromeo, mark ronson, sharon jones & the dap-kings. also saw radiohead again, bloc party again, brazilian girls again, the go! team again, iron and wine again, blues traveler again, devotchka, grizzly bear, and the rest.
we are scientists at abbey pub. the rest of these are not in order:
yann tiersen at logan square auditorium (not great), ratatat at metro, ting tings at metro, adele at park west (excellent), nada surf at metro again, m83 at bottom lounge, girl talk at congress theater (great music, but i think i hate his fans), ghostland observatory at metro again (awesome again), beck at aragon, juno reactor at metro (never thought i'd get to say that), thievery corporation at aragon. and this isn't music but the stub was with all the other tickets: a show at second city. i didn't expect it to be half that good. damn that was funny!
a few more: chairlift at schubas. dent may, who was pretty much awesome, at schubas. juana molina at the morse theatre was pretty great. miss kittin & the hacker at abbey pub. isis at subterranean.
damn is that alot? muchly looking forward to the prodigy, menomena, the crystal method!, phish, and of course lolla (vampire weekend! fleet foxes!)

btw, did you get the new phoenix album? why not?

patina of shit

Hillary Clinton appeared on Leno tonight and used a hilarious phrase to describe her Bosnia lie: "mismatch of words and actions." That shit should be in Webster's.

I would like to have seen Montana

Mar 20, went to the Vic to see Mike Doughty (& his band). It was a good set, though I preferred the question jar show. This was better in some ways (the full band), but the question jar show was at a more intimate venue, took tons of requests, and was quite long, with no opening band. Anyway, it was a good show, though a bit short. Near the end of the show, Doughty declared 'the next song is the song before the fake last song.. that is, when we do the big rock and roll ending, I thank everyone, say goodnight, then we go backstage for 15-30 seconds before coming back for another song.' In a way, this was an excuse to not actually do a real encore, as they went backstage for about 10 seconds, and unfortunately did exactly what he said: only ONE more song.

Mar 26, went to Schuba's to see Beach House, yay. The first opener, Doug from 'Winter Blanket' or something, was pretty bad. The next was decent. During Beach House's performance, there was a serious problem with flash photography blinding the shit out of everyone, possibly due to the duo's white sequined outfits. I'd never experienced such a problem at a show before. It was bad enough that people in the audience complained and Victoria ordered it stopped. Good performance, though they didn't play all my favorites.

Last night went to Congress Theater to see Explosions in the Sky. I've never had cause to go to Congress Theater before, and it's pretty damn cool. You wouldn't think it from the area or looking at the building, but it's quite large. It's real old and fancy, with a big ornate lobby with a grand staircase up to the balcony. I hope I get a chance to go back there sometime. The doors opened very late because the opening act canceled (or vice versa), but the band was great. We were in the back part of the floor, which gave a cool view of the whole theater and the crowd, enhanced by a lot of moving lights pointed at the audience. Mirrored the Yeasayer show, in that everyone stayed for an encore, prompting a member of the band to come out and declare that there wouldn't be one. We wouldn't have this confusion if you just turned on all the house lights!

there's no debate in the world

me: jesus, remember when i was walking on the beach after that party and there were two sets of footprints cuz you were walking with me? but then there was just one set.. what the hell happened to you, man?

j.c.: dude, that's when i was carrying you. don't you remember that?

me: clearly not, or i wouldn't have asked you. man i must have blacked out.

j.c.: i sure as hell remember, you're fuckin heavy. i dropped you in the sand like five times, you don't remember that at all?

me: actually i can't remember anything from that night, i must have been really faced.

j.c.: yeah you were pretty bad. i think we need to have a talk about that.. karen and i are really concerned about you...

fun thing

feb. 29, went to see Bonobo spin at Sonotheque. Twas very crowded. Mar. 1 went to see local band Canasta at Beat Kitchen, plus I like beat kitchen and hadn't been there in a whilst. Music were good. Must remember to get there later.

In other news, job search continues, as do piano lessons. I'm playing Chopin's Minute Waltz and fucking it up not completely, just mostly. Yesterday, saw an elk by the side of the road, so I offered it pink lemonade.

smoosh ralph nader

Ralph Nader seems determined to hand the white house to the republicans on a silver platter every time. I think he really hates America. Please help me think of ways to get rid of him. Here's one to get things started: maybe we should just ignore him? Post a comment with your ideas.

everything's coming up milhouse

Feb 1: Park West: DJ Shadow & Cut Chemist on 8 turntables, playing all original 45s, with realtime looping using guitar looping pedals, very cool. The highlight: Stairway to Heaven with the lyrics from the Gilligan's Island theme song. Opener Kid Koala was good, though I've basically seen that set before.

Feb 2: Plaid at Abbey Pub. The music was good, didn't stay for the whole set. Opener was good, a Chicago duo, I think they were called Opus.

Feb 8: Caught Yeasayer at Schuba's, since I liked them when they opened for Shapes & Sizes. After they finished, the lights stayed off and no music came on, which usually means there's a possibility of an encore. The crowd demanded one, clapping and chanting. The lead singer came back and declared that they couldn't do an encore because they didn't know any more songs.

Feb 10: Keren Ann at Lakeshore Theater. I'd never been to Lakeshore Theater before, and I have to say I like it. It's got theater-style seating like you're seeing a play, and they're comfortable seats like a modern movie theater. But it's general admission, so you can sit anywhere you want. Keren Ann was great; I hadn't realized she plays guitar on every song. The only downside was she only played for an hour. I think it was technically a split billing with 'Dean and Britta' (who many people in the audience seemed to actually be familiar with!).

the 20 best songs of 2007

20. New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down - LCD Soundsystem
19. Smile - Lily Allen
18. Evil Bee - Menomena
17. Me & Mr. Jones - Amy Winehouse
16. Headphone Song - Junior Senior
15. The Salmon Dance - The Chemical Brothers feat. Fatlip
14. The Wrath Of Marcie - The Go! Team
13. Carol Of the Bells - The Bird and the Bee
12. 1 2 3 4 - Feist
11. Rotten Hell - Menomena
10. You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb - Spoon
9. Hip Hop a Lula - Junior Senior
8. Brandy Alexander - Feist
7. Either Way - Wilco
6. Disaster - The Besnard Lakes
5. Addicted - Amy Winehouse
4. The Underdog - Spoon
3. Paper Planes - M.I.A.
2. The People - Common
1. Happy Warriors - Jill Cunniff

the definitive 10 best albums of 2007

Sorry for the pompous title, but I get sick of all the usual suspects on everybody's year-end lists. Yeah Arcade Fire is good, but they're not THAT good. Seriously, you know there's multiple genres of music, right? And I love Radiohead, but In Rainbows just wasn't their best work. Same with LCD Soundsystem, and Springsteen. So this list represents the best music of 2007. This ain't no career achievement award.

10. Finding Forever - Common
Common brings back the usual cast of collaborators for more of that sweet Chicago hip-hop, with excellent production work by Kanye and others. And of course Common himself is in fine form on vocals. "Driving herself crazy like the astronaut lady" joins the list of awesomest silly lines. "The People" is probably the best song of the year.

9. Kala - M.I.A.
No sophomore slump, Kala delivers alot of the stuff that made Arular one of 2005's best albums, mainly unabashedly hard-hitting beats and politically-charged subject matter, delivered artfully but bluntly. While not quite as groundbreaking as her debut, Kala takes small steps such as throwing in some Bollywood references (or direct samples).

8. The Besnard Lakes Are the Dark Horse - The Besnard Lakes
Unlike in recent years, this list is mainly people I'd already heard of. The Besnard Lakes probably offer the highest awesomeness to knownness ratio here. Where'd they come from? Canada, I think. On this, their debut album, they experiment with alot of interesting atmospheric stuff and the result is excellent.

7. Proof of Youth - The Go! Team
No sophomore slump, Proof of Youth delivers alot of the stuff that made Thunder Lightning Strike one of 2005's best albums, namely lo-fi indie rock with a healthy mob mentality. Again, not quite as amazing as the debut, but still excellent. And it turns out this is one of those albums that gets better with every listen. You haven't lived until you've seen these guys rock out live.

6. The Bird & the Bee - The Bird & the Bee
I was a little late to the party on this one, but very glad I found it. The main musical force of the duo, Greg Kurstin must really know his music theory, as he does some really great stuff with chord progressions and harmonies. Definitely going to keep an eye on these guys. Also check out the 'Please Clap Your Hands' EP, and an amazing reworking of my favorite x-mas song, Carol of the Bells, which I believe is only available through download.

5. Friend and Foe - Menomena
I don't even know what to say about this one. Technically, it's rock and roll without too many crazy frills or experimentation, but they do so much original stuff, and there's not a mediocre track on the album. Iduno, just listen to it!

4. The Reminder - Feist
Alot of people probably think this is a sophomore album since Monarch used to be impossible to find and she doesn't play it live. You should be able to download it by now, I did a long time ago. Anyway, the Reminder delivers alot of the stuff that made Let it Die one of 2005's best albums: Feist's wonderfully distinct vocals and excellent rock and pop (sometimes separate, sometimes together). It's a close call, but this might actually be the better album of the two. She mixes it up a little more here, getting a little more pop-ish than she had before with songs like 1234 and I Feel it All.

3. Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
Not much remains to be said about this one. It made alot of year-end lists, rightfully so. In fact, I wouldn't trust a list that didn't include it. Most of the time, I have to listen to a new album a couple times to get a feel for it before I realize how much I like it. A funny thing happened the first time I listened to this one (on the bus, no less). I realized I was in love with it before I even got to the end. I immediately knew I hadn't heard anything that great in a long time. Retro, throwback, you already know, just go listen to it again (and make sure your version has 'Addicted').

2. Hey Hey My My Yo Yo - Junior Senior
I was surprised to see this album on pretty much not a single year-end list. 'Mirrored' was good, this is better. To me, this is one of the best electronic albums in years. I don't even know how to describe it, except as really really really well-made dance music. If you've never heard of Junior Senior, they had one hit dance single called Move Your Feet, a great song, but nothing much came with it in terms of success. I thought this album would reboot their career, but as I say, it didn't get that much press. Nevertheless, if you like being happy (the mood of the album is very upbeat), do yourself a favor and listen to Hey Hey My My Yo Yo.

1. Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga - Spoon
Another album that leaves me writer-blocked, as it does so much without bending or breaking the molds of what we expect from rock music. Instead, it implements them in ways that don't seem new until you hear the music. Ten tracks, ten fantastic indie rock songs with a little punk and a lot of personality. There's no doubt this is the best album of the year.

Bobby Fischer

Where is he? I don't know, I don't know.

The Larch

1st Amendment

Previously I recapped my concert-going history using ticket stubs as a reference. Some places you don't need a ticket, so I will describe those shows to the best of my recollection. I may be able to remember/check the dates of some, but why bother. Let's sort by location:

Slope Day, 2005, 2006, 2007, Libe Slope at Cornell:
- Snoop Dogg, knew what his best material is, played mostly stuff from Doggystyle, the Chronic, and R&G, but the sound was terrible, way too much bass, hissy speakers, and not enough volume on the mic. Ill-tempered, mediocre rapper The Game opened.
- Talib Kweli and Ben Folds. Talib was pretty good. Folds was adequate.
- T.I. and TV on the Radio. TVOTR were pretty good, I was high on the slope for T.I. and could barely hear him.

Schubas:
- Harvey Danger. Good set, didn't play Flagpole Sitta, distracted by company.
- Shapes & Sizes. Didn't play a single song from their first and better album! A mediocre band with unnecessary members opened, 50 of their friends and family dominated the audience and left before S&S. Also Yeasayer, who were great.
- Mike Doughty. As part of the "question jar" tour, answered questions from audience between songs. Doughty on acoustic, a guy switching between electric guitar and cello (sometimes bowed, sometimes plucked), really awesome show. Also played about six Soul Coughing songs, including my favorite, St. Louise is Listening. No opener :)
- Nada Surf. These guys are amazing. Know their best material. Lots of devoted fans present, so the crowd was into it.

Downstairs of the House of Blues, Nina Gordon did a free show for her solo debut album release, signed copies afterward.

Beat Kitchen:
- Went for Frida Hyvönen, who was great. Brice Woodall opened. Headliner was Bishop Allen, who sucked.
- Liked Brice Woodall, so went back to see him. Headliner was the band in which the guy from Entourage (the one who's famous on the show, not the one who's famous in real life) is the drummer. They sucked.

Sonotheque: Luke Vibert did a great set, everyone danced.

Empty Bottle:
- Mouse on Mars. A bit abrasive. Got stood up.
- Besnard Lakes. Awesome awesome awesome. Opener Birds & Batteries was pretty good.
- Went to see Shapes & Sizes and Castanets. Opener was mediocre. Shapes & Sizes never showed up, their van broke down or something. Castanets did some crappy experimental stuff. Whole show lasted like 90 minutes including setup, I want my money back.

And last Saturday Dec. 1 I went to Empty Bottle to see Prefuse 73. Not sure who that second opening act was, but I'm pretty sure the vocals were the only thing being performed live. Though they had a keyboard, bass, and guitar, I couldn't hear anything coming out of them. I think it was all coming from their two(!!!) laptops. This laptop shit is getting out of hand. Prefuse was pretty good, more experimental than the albums though, sounded like Autechre or something. Crowd was awful, lots of over-dancing assholes. I know you're just trying to have a good time, but please don't wave your fucking arms inches from my face.

The concert calendar for December is bone dry!

your mom's favorite dj

I'd better write this stuff down while I'm in a fightin' mood. Feist (Nov. 17, Riviera) was great. I got there early to get a good spot by the stage. I was in that rare situation of being close enough that you're not being gradually pushed back throughout the show by assholes who come late and push their ways in front of everyone. Feist played drums on the first few songs for the opener. I don't think I was the only one who didn't even realize it was her until she started singing on the second or third song. She was immobilized by a sprained ankle, and actually looked pretty feeble, but played it up well, channeling the spirit of her mobile self as some lady tapdanced to Now At Last, which Feist played oddly upbeat on the guitar (with piano backing). The video portion of the performance was actually quite interesting, with everything created as silhouttes on the large background screen with some kind of overhead projector. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it.

M.I.A. (Nov. 21, House of Blues) was worth the half-hour wait in the cold, as the doors opened 20 minutes late. Openers the Cool Kids (hey, I've seen them before!) were decent. Before M.I.A. came out, her show opened with a wide video of a creepy political figure addressing the nation and talking about wanting to destroy the country since there are no good solutions to its problems. It was obviously inspired by the situations in Sri Lanka, but left vague enough to apply to anywhere, without naming specific places or parties. I suppose it could have been an actual speech, but I doubt it. Anyway, it was cool. As soon as the music started, the crowd got crazy. There was crowd surfing during the first song. We were all being pushed around, not away from a mosh pit, or toward the stage, but collectively in all directions. It's so fun to be part of a crowd that's so excited and into the music. Going back to my distaste for newspaper concert reviews, I again happened to notice on Monday a review for M.I.A.'s friday show. The picture, with the caption 'Rapper M.I.A. blah blah...', was a picture of her backup singer/rapper. p.s. All concerts should start at midnight.

Tonight, went to finally see Paulson, one of my favorite unknown bands. It was my first trip to Subterranean, which is like RIGHT next to the Double Door. They call it Subterranean because it's on the second floor. It's like any small venue with a bar, except that there's a third floor where you can watch the band from directly above. As I said to my friends when they mentioned they weren't crazy about the last band, it's the only place I've been to where if you don't like the band, you can very easily spit on them. All the bands were good, playing mostly crunchy, ethereal hard rock, which is my favorite kind of hard rock. Definitely going to check out previously-unknown-to-me So Long Forgotten and As Cities Burn. Paulson announced they're releasing an album of covers on Christmas, which I probably already knew but forgot about, and did a great version of Wonderwall.

Next time, I'll append my list of previously attended shows with the ones I don't have ticket stubs from.

don't tread on me, bro

this time i actually thought of something that i can consistently write about. i don't read the newspaper, but i recently realized concert reviews are really stupid. skimming through the "Tempo" section after getting stuck on the crossword, i saw a review for last Saturday's Feist concert. "why would i read this?" i said to myself (not out loud), "i was there. i know what happened" even if i hadn't been there, why would i read it? if i like Feist and missed the show, reading the review is just going to make me sad that i wasn't there. if i didn't like Feist, my apathy regarding the events of her concert would be immense. the only reason for someone in this city to care to read about whether it was a good show is if they're considering seeing the band the next time they come around (usually 1-2 years), and by then it could be quite a different show. thus the ONLY logical reason to read concert reviews, other than a random interest in other people's opinions about stuff, is if you live in a DIFFERENT city where this artist will soon play. so this article should have been printed in the Des Moines Register.

having just proved concert reviews to be pointless, i will start writing them. kinda. since going to shows is the only interesting thing i do, i can at least recap any interesting events from my own perspective and describe where i got drunk after the show (my bedroom). i will start with a brief recap of every show i've ever been to (better get comfortable).

- (1997) Bush at Rosemont Horizon (now Allstate Arena), mediocre seats, Veruca Salt opened.
- (1998) Cake at the Vic, my first trip to what remains my favorite venue
- Twisted 5 at Rosemont Horizon: Soul Coughing, Cake, Everlast, Goo Goo Dolls, Third Eye Blind, Garbage, Beck. Sold out so I paid $75 for a ticket from a broker. totally worth it to see 6 of my favorite bands, and the worst band ever.
- (1999) Cake at Skyline Stage (Navy Pier), opener was a great folk band with a double guitar
- DMB at New World Music Theatre (then Tweeter Center, now First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre), govt mule opened. mediocre show.
- Phish at Alpine Valley, great show but why's it in the middle of nowhere?
- R.E.M. at the World, good seats, awesome show, played a really long set. Wilco opened.
- (2000) Moby at Aragon Ballroom, Hybrid opened.
- SR-71 at House of Blues. Not an SR-71 fan, went to see opener Harvey Danger (who did a fairly long set :))
- (2001) Semisonic at the Vic, distracted by company
- Radiohead at Grant Park, first ever rock concert in the park, great show. in a crowd of tens of thousands, happened to run into my brother. distracted by company
- Cake at Cornell (Barton Hall), openers Rahzel and Spoon. managed to remember Cake's entire setlist and write it down after the show.
- (2002) No Doubt at Cornell, the Faint opened. made out throughout most of the show.
- STP at Cornell, glad I got to see them before they split, good show. Home Town Hero opened.
- Our Lady Peace at the Vic, lead singer (sorry, not hugest OLP fan) dove into crowd from 20 foot balcony. Greenwheel opened (remember them? no? good.)
- Incubus at Cornell. according to ticket, "30 seconds to mars" opened.
- Counting Crows at Cornell. pretty good set.
- (2005. wtf?) Cake at HOB. great performance as always. We Are Scientsts opened!
- Third Eye Blind at Cornell. I love 3eb but this show was kinda disappointing. "Matt Nathanson" opened
- (2006) Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab for Cutie at Cornell. equal billing, ain't that sweet? Death Cab does a great live show.
- Imogen Heap at Park West, immediately considered this the best live performance i'd seen to date. Zoe Keating opened, very nice.
- Intonation Music Fest, 2 days at Union Park. The streets, lady sovereign, jon brion (fantastic performance), bloc party, annie, chromeo, jose gonzalez, ghostface killah, lupe fiasco, rhymefest, and many others.
- Fiona Apple at Charter One Pavilion (formerly an airport), Damien Rice opened. Fiona afraid of killing bugs on piano keys. distracted by text message
- Lollapalooza!!! 3 days in Grant Park. kanye, death cab, quotsa, iron & wine, gnarls barkley, blues traveler, my morning jacket, common, poi dog, thievery corporation, nickel creek, stars, lady sovereign, nada surf!!!, feist!, hot chip, and many more. didn't get to see the go! team or manu chao due to scheduling conflicts (feist and kanye). chose not to see red hot chili peppers (i hate californication)
- Metro Area at Smartbar, danced til 3am, had a manhattan and it tasted like shit.
- Ellen Allien & Apparat at Smartbar
- Sufjan Stevens at Riviera, huge band with zany costumes, told great story about the predatory wasp of the palisaides. My Brightest Diamond opened.
- Massive Attack at the Riv, the next day. a terrible beatboxer opened.
- DJ Shadow at the Vic
- Lady Sovereign at Metro since I had nothing better to do
- Hot Chip at Metro since I had nothing better to do and they're awesome. a cool duo called Shy Child (Jay-Z reference?) opened
- Kid Koala at Abbey Pub. good venue, haven't had a chance to go back there yet. did a funny cooking bit. some bad rapper opened
- Brazilian Girls at Metro. had to wait outside in cold for late start and no opener, but show was good. lead singer wore many balloons. pussy pussy pussy marijuana
- Sean Lennon at Park West. I only went to see opener Jim Noir, and he wasn't there due a border issue. Fuck you, Sean Lennon.
- Imogen Heap at Riviera. I love you Imogen. openers: a guitarist with a repeater (good radiohead cover) and a beatboxer with a repeater
- (2007) Ratatat at Logan Square Auditorium, as awesome as expected. openers 120 days and despot sucked.
- Ellen Allien at Smartbar. she looks like a bunny when shes spinning
- Lollapalooza!!! 3 days at Grant Park. pearl jam, daft punk!!, modest mouse, interpol, yeah yeah yeahs, amy winehouse!, the roots, kings of leon, tv on the radio, lcd soundsystem, the hold steady (were awesome), rodrigo y gabriela (now i know :)), m.i.a.!!!, the polyphonic spree (were great), peter bjorn and john, ghostland observatory (now i know :)), rhymefest, the postmarks (up close), and many more
- Iron & Wine at Metro. good new back-up band
- Jose Gonzalez at Park West. a little too subdued (nobody standing) but ok
- The Go! Team at Double Door, fucking awesome, one of the best shows i've been to. mediocre rappers 'Cool Kids' opened.
- Swayzak at Sonotheque, fairly unremarkable
- The Wallflowers at Park West, good show despite complete absence of keyboard. glad to finally see them, especially at such an intimate venue

This post is pretty long already, so I'll save my comments on the Feist show til next time.

the tennessee stud was long and lean, the color of the sun and his eyes were green

Best song of the year: Common - The People


And for the ridiculously curious: an incredibly detailed manual on repair, maintenance, and adjustment of rhodes piano.

when the routine bites hard

back again with a tweaked design. i've been wasting alot of time on youtube lately, so let's start with some videos.

hilarious video of Ali G interviewing Posh and David Beckham on British TV. he can't fool people into thinking he's serious anymore, but he's still a genius.

awesomely disturbing scene from a claymation movie called The Adventures of Mark Twain, 1985. you have to see this.

my favorite Robot Chicken clip

alot of people have linked to this already, but in case you missed it, this guy plays two guitars at once: his site; Simpsons theme video.

and finally, the best comic, Demetri Martin. his delivery style is great. i also like Louis CK (his standup is way better than his TV show). incidentally, both guys wrote for conan briefly.

hope you enjoy these half as much as i did. i'll be back with more soon.

pictures from my san francisco trip

shit, i didn't take any. please enjoy this instead.

even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone

Today's News:
General Hayden Seduces Senate Intelligence Committee

everyone is saying gabbo this and gabbo that. but no one is saying worship this, and jericho that!

my hoodrats fatal, they not stable. i could be at a dinner table with union gabrielle, fine as hell, pierce in the naval. look at my rat like she act brand new, hey boo, hi you... yeah, cool. now tally-ho your ass back across the room. you see me with pocahontas, i aint tryin to be honarary, but honestly i aint tryin to be bothered. you got a brain, define honors in college. youd rather define how your knowledge in chronic. im tryin to step my game up a notch, bitch. your aim to cock block on my plot, bitch. she hot and youre not, so stop bitch. quit blowin up my motherfuckin spot, shit. how could you be here, why dont you leave here, i aint tryin to see you any time at my show. i got a piece here, you aint gotta speak there, you know how we get down on the low. you playin me cheap here, tonight i dont drink beer. i got a bottle so its time for you to go. yous the freak here, you dont know me here. shes a model, you my late-night ho. they chase me when they see me in the club with a look-alike stacy dash, they get mad. then they wanna brag and say already had him. he aint shit cuz he rap for mister mathers. plus 50 cents like 10 times badder. d12 shouldnta had him on they album. thats what i get just for stabbin them hos, they nag. when i pose with a chick with nice toes. yall knew ob before new hos, but since this a new ho, just act like ya never knew ob, boo. we still crew, we just the same. just not tonight, you dont know my name. how could you be here, why dont you leave here, i aint tryin to see you any time at my show. i got a piece here, you aint gotta speak there, you know how we get down on the low. you playin me cheap here, tonight i dont drink beer. i got a bottle so its time for you to go. yous the freak here, you dont know me here. shes a model, you my late-night ho. hey yo fellas, never get timid when a chicken is interferin when youre chillin with a chick who a ten. let her know the situation at hand and tell the bitch, go play with her friends. this is for the model that youre chillin with, hoodrats is often awful. my advice, keep your mouth on muffle. feistiness give em the right to snuff you, and you too pretty to scuffle. this is for the rats, go on with that, quit actin like you smokin that crack, cuz he pokin that chick. you aint ownin no shit, aint no rings on that finger, and every nigga in the hood aint triple-teamed her. how could you be here, why dont you leave here, i aint tryin to see you any time at my show. i got a piece here, you aint gotta speak there, you know how we get down on the low. you playin me cheap here, tonight i dont drink beer. i got a bottle so its time for you to go. yous the freak here, you dont know me here. shes a model, you my late-night ho.

i love the sexy slither of a lady snake

i made you some fractal art


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When in the presence of a female, males apparently become sexually excited, and may attempt to copulate with objects other than female Kakapo.

Currently listening: ethiopiques, vol. 4
Mood: Salty

I updated the stuff over there on the right side of the page. No, your other right. There you go.

I also fixed the roof, painted the kitchen, finished my disseration, satisfied your mom, wrote a book of poetry, declared war on Russia, and ate a box of crackers.

Finally, I'd like to congratulate Eric Newbaum of Portland, OR for winning the trivia contest. He correctly guessed the name of my psychiatrist's dog: Xerxes. Keep watching your mail, Eric; you should be receiving your prize shortly. It's an authentic mbuto mask from the Kota people of eastern Gabon, which I won at a carnival ring toss booth. All the rest of you, better luck next time.

even a watched pot boils twice a day

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the escalator.



Rest in peace, Proof.

april fools, you just lost an hour of your life

last night as an april fools joke, i killed two police officers. then i realized april fools day was technically over, it was already april 2nd! i guess the joke's on me! hang on a second, someone is banging on my door really hard...

change my pitch up, smack my bitch up (like a pimp)

I like writing the post titles better than the actual body of the post.

I can't think of anything good today (or for the past two weeks, apparently) so I will just steal an idea from Stephen Colbert (with whom I feel I have an instant rapport (if that joke went over your head, it's because it's well above the earth's atmosphere in a geosynchronous orbit (and it wasn't even very funny))).

On Notice:
Dust mites
George Bush (the old one)
AIDS
The western hemisphere
Mary Tyler Moore
The electric chair
Pope John Paul II

Dead to Me:
People from the 19th century
Jack Johnson
Big League Chew
Dr. Seuss (actually he's dead to everyone)
Titanium alloys
Whoever keeps stealing my newspaper
Drawn Together

Well that wasn't a very good post. Oh well, better luck next time.

I wish I knew how to quit you

Oh man, that line gets me every time. So tonight is the 377th annual Academy Awards, for achievement in uh... lithography. No, movies! Movies. I knew that one. The ceremony (why do they call it a ceremony? it's not a baptism) will be hosted by Jon Stewart, popular TV comedian and local oaf. Many have expressed concern that Stewart will ruin Billy Crystal's long-standing tradition of not being funny. When asked about how he felt to have an award named after him, Oscar the grouch said, "Fuck, this joke sucks. I'm gonna go eat some garbage." When did this become a fake news story? Oh well, let's go with it. A high-ranking Pentagon official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that Johnny Cash is fucking awesome and the guy who played him in the movie should totally win for best actor. "Something Phoenix, I think... You know who I'm talking about, he was in Gladiator." Then he tried to give me some kind of secret launch codes, but I told him to fuck off.

AP reporter Alan Smithee contributed to this story.

motivational speakers

I experimented with another version that actually shouts motivational slogans at you, but that made it really hard to listen to sonatas.

grand wizard re-opening

Once again, my creative ambition outweighs my apathy (don't worry, not by much). So it's time for some new posts, and this lovely new design that only took three years to make. Here's some of the things you can expect to get here:

Words. This one I think is self-explanatory.

Explosive diarrhea. Did you eat the chili? I told you not to eat the chili.

Some light humor. The bulk of my discussions will center on policy analysis, but I always try to throw in a quip here and there.

The plague. Oh, what the hell! Plague for everyone! There's plenty to go around!

Kung fu action grip. Batteries not included (or necessary). Action figure sold separtely (on eBay).

Also, if you click those circles at the bottom of the page, you'll be overwhelmed by a barrage of colors.

hot girlfriend

poo-tee-weet?

The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present, and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just the way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.

-Billy Pilgrim

pardon me sir, but you're standing on my face

Error 404 file not found. The requested URL could not be found on this server, or anywhere else for that matter. You probably entered the address wrong, jackass. Or maybe a leprechaun tricked you into coming here. By now, he's probably half-way to South America with all your jewelry and sexually harassing the flight attendant. For technical support, call the pyschic hotline. Or not, just as long as you don't bother me anymore.
Disclaimer: Miss Cleo does not hold a degree in computer science, nor does she have any training in IT or electronics. In fact, she doesn't have any training at all. She does, however, have a G.E.D. and her jamaican accent suggests to your feeble mind that she could be the daughter of a witch doctor, soothsayer, or tarot card manufacturer. You should not give her your real name, or your IP address. If she asks for the location of your DHCP server, do not reveal it, for this is a sign that she may be practicing black magic, or that you will overcome a difficult problem in the next month.

a problem with the problem page

Above: An anti-Japan demonstrator in China protests in front of the Japanese embassy by doing pirouettes in a ridiculous jogging suit.

In other news, today marks the 139th anniversary of the invention of the peppermint patty by Lord Edwin York of Sussex. Not to be confused with the vulgar Peanuts character Peppermint Patty who pretended to be annoyed when Marcy called her "sir," but secretly it turned her on. Lord York got the idea for his minty creation while visiting the vast rice paddies of southeast Asia. After initially coating clumps of rice with chocolate, he endeavored to find a different white substance that would taste less terrible. After conducting numerous experiments (mostly concerning specific heats and pH levels) on possible substitutes like milk, oatmeal, bat guano, human brain tissue, and another type of rice, York gave up. However, his mother-in-law suggested peppermint, and he grudgingly agreed to give it a try. The rest is boring, boring history.

Disclaimer: Do not eat peppermint patties with cola. It's icky.

resistance is futile

   
   
   

you lost me at hello

Yea, and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Isaac." And Abraham said, "I can't hear you. You'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."

If you don't have a song to sing, you're okay. You know how to get along humming.
 

in-engine cutscenes

Before I undertook this endeavor to make a blog, I considered many different hobbies and undertakings, including:

Dog
Dogs are great. You can take them for a walk, throw things at them, or use them to ring in the new year. They smell bad when they get wet but the look of joy on their faces makes up for it. Ultimately I didn't want to have to decide whether to get it stuffed when the dog died, so I said to hell with it.

Log
Here is a picture of the log I was considering adopting. His name is Timmy and has you can see, he needs help very badly. There are hundreds of needy logs just like Timmy all over the world that will turn into dirt if we don't step in. However, when I met Timmy I accidentally stepped on him and broke off his face, so I said to hell with it.

Pogs
I already have a large pog collection in my closet at home, including some pretty good slammers and a custom pog-making machine that automatically cuts a circle out of any picture and glues it to a blank pog. While they were quite fun to collect when I was 12, they are no longer popular and the actual game they are used to play is both boring and depressing. Therefore I opted against taking up pogs again.

Rubber Stamps
Rubber stamps??? Boring.

sphincter don't fail me now

ah the proverbial first post. i shall now take this time to enlighten you with my musings about this peculiar social phenomenon that is the blog. the world currently has a curious fascination with blogs for some reason. particularly people on cnn and msnbc love to talk about blogs, even though none of them post or read blogs. but it seems about every week they have some sort of blogging expert on to discuss what the buzz on the blogs is. 'ooh whats going on in the blogosphere???' who gives a damn? apparently there are people who spend 12 hours a day reading blogs. get a life. or read a book, it's more interesting.

there's been alot of talk about blogs in the past year or so, but they're not new, just the word is new. i had a livejournal in 2001, and i had my own website that i posted to regularly in 1998. and i certainly wasn't an early adopter in that field. so what's the big deal with blogs? the answer is obvious: people are idiots.

you are now five minutes older and significantly less intelligent than you were when you started reading this pretentious drivel. congratulations. you will be receiving a gift basket and a kick in the head in 6-8 weeks. i assure you that if my short attention span doesn't make me lose interest in this blog in 2 weeks (which it certainly will) and i keep posting, this entry will be the most coherent that i submit.